got this feelings for the first time

>> i might steal you away

 but i didnt

 coz i know your happy with someone else.<<

i may have this weird feelings for you until now, but i can assure you, whoever you are, that i keep on fighting and keep on struggling with this situation over and over again.

dont know how did i survive with this thing but every time i get through with it, im just a lil frustrated that until now i cant really say it to you.

but i know you're happy now and i dont want to mess up everything that you have. and maybe keeping and burying this feelings of mine is a good thing. coz no one, and i mean no one, could be hurt.

>> dont want to take a risk

coz i know, taking a risk 

can destroy everything that i have. <<

damn!. i really dont know how did i keep up pretending that i didnt love you. trying to fool every one especially my own, harmless and Innocent heart. 

but.. a very big but!!! dont have any plans to say it to you. coz i know i can handle this.. and dont care how hard it is to keep this shit feeling!!!.

you can call me a martyr. but this is me. this is i want it to be.. i like to keep it this way. no regrets at all.

i know deep down on me, we dont have any communications now or anything that keeps us updated from each other. so why waste effort to say it to you??

i maybe be a bit harsh to my self but i know one day.. a golden trophy will be awarded to me.

>> i really wanna know whats goin on your mind right now

but its hard for me to assume

that we may have a shot to win each other.<<

for the cut off.. i just wanna say that nobody or no one can ever judge me doin this thing..

>> loving you

is 

the hardest thing

to do<<

-peace out!!

@loveJOintsme